Welcome to Cullen Kiddie care!
by Randomly energetic Alice fan
Summary: Bella, Edward, and Alice all taking care of baby Cullens and werewolves? Awwwwwww! normal pairings. All human.
1. More friggin munchkins

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**Okay, this is only my second fic which will hopefully go longer then the first (it was a one off) So pleeeaaase be nice.**

The longest day EVER!

I grimaced as the shrill sound of my alarm clock broke through the still morning quiet. I was happily squandering time. balancing in that magical place on the edge of sleep. The house was calm . No-one was up yet. I rolled out of bed and hit the floor with a thud. Next door, my fathers light breathing stuttered into a snore and then faded out again. I hauled myself to my feet and began to get dressed. Pulling on some faded jeans and a clean white shirt, I pulled a brush through my thick brown hair and strode to the mirror. I sighed. I'd never been very pretty. But my pale face and dark round eyes made me look even more ridiculous. 'Oh happy day.' I sang sarcastically as I cleaned my teeth methodically by the small avocado sink. Whatever made my mother buy it obviously did not affect me. It was hideous. _Not as hideous as certain things to come._ My subconscious reminded me. Ugh.

I didn't want to think about it.

The sun was obscured by the thick miserable clouds as I walked towards the brightly painted gates surrounding Forks playschool. I did not want this job. But 'beggars can't be choosers' as my mum had always said. Whatever it meant. And I _was_ desperate for a job._ Even beggars wouldn't pick this job. I thought grimly as_ I walked through the double doors into the main reception. This was going to be the longest day of my life.

As I stepped forlornly into the room, one face stood out among the sea of Jumpy parents with their snotty kids. She stood at the back of the room. Her wide black eyes, transfixed on me. She mouthed two words.

'No. Way.' Then she grinned. In a second she was at my side, her pale face excited.

'You never told me you'd applied for a job!' We shouted in unison. Then we both let out a small giggle.

'Great minds think alike.' She murmured. Well, perhaps life working in a nursery wouldn't be so bad after all.

Just then a tall brunette ushered the parents out. Causing us to crush up against the wall. As soon as the door was closed, she turned to us.

'I'm going to the staff room.' She crooned in a superficial voice.

'Only come and get me if somebody dies.' She snickered as though it was the funniest thing ever. And with that, she turned on her heel and strolled off.

'Well I never…'Muttered a voice behind me.

It was a man's voice and I was frozen for a moment as I listened to the beauty of it. In my head I ran through a long list of sounds: Church bells, a babies first laugh, a kitten's purr? Nothing compared, which made sense when I turned around to see the face that owned the breathtaking voice.

His eyebrows were arched in an amused way as he looked down at me. Probably due to the fact that my mouth was hanging open. His eyes twinkled with silent laughter. Emerald green. And his crooked smile was so... Gorgeous. Alice giggled and He cleared his throat.

'Hi. I'm Edward Masen. It's lovely to meet you.' He whispered in his velvet voice.

'I'm Sella Bwon. Oh..Er…I mean Bella Swan.' I replied hastily,

'Miss Swan?' He murmured, taking a step closer.

'Good morning.' He took my hand and planted a soft kiss just above my knuckles.

I grew weak at the knees. Then Alice nudged me and for the first time I noticed the children watching with interest.

'Okay!' I pulled away. 'Time for the register!' I cried. Alice pulled out a large blue book and a sparkly pen.  
And I just sort of stood there.

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'Miiiiss?' came the inevitable whine from somewhere over by the colouring table.

'Miss, I neeed the toooiiiileeeet.'

Oh god. I walked slowly over to where a three year old was hopping up and down.

'Well, um…. Samantha?... The toilets are over there.' I replied cooly. Hoping to god that she didn't need a hand.

'Okaaaaay!' She squealed running toward the cubicles. I wiped my forehead with back of my wrist and sighed. I'd played ponies,(Alice joined in.) Been attacked with empty milk cartons,(Alice joined in.) And had Edward laugh as I chased after the four-year-old-with-an-attitude who had stole my scarf at playtime.

And now Alice was bounding around the classroom playing 'magic-fairies-with-unicorns-that-can-fly-in-the-happy-world-of-dreamland' with a group of little girls. Edward was a hit with the boys. He knew every single game ever invented. From cars to pirate-firefighter-policemen. Even Alice was stumped by that one. It was soon time to go home. And I breathed a sigh of relief as I closed the door behind the last one. Then I sank to the floor. Even Alice's incredible energy had depleted.

'Just wait. There's five more coming tomorrow.'

'More friggin munchkins. Joy.' I grumbled as he collected his coat. Alice and I soon followed.

And I'll tell you one thing. I've never slept better.

**I know this chapter was short but I've kind of got some more stuff to plan out in it so I wanted to see the response before the Cullen kiddies enter the scene. So pleeeeaaaaaaaaase guys!!!**

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	2. out of milk

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

*groan*

Beep

Bang!

"Oooooowwwwww...." I moaned as my head hit the bedside table. It seemed pretty clear that I had rolled out of bed. Although I couldn't see pretty clearly. I thumped the alarm and hobbled through to the bathroom. My clothes where laid out on the chair where I had left them last night and I pulled them on in a hurry. I didn't want to go to work... Well, I wanted to go, just not to work. I laughed at myself and poured some cereal into a bowl. Then the shock and horror hit me as I opened the fridge.

We were out of milk.

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Alice lay on the floor smothered in paint as I walked through the main entrance to the nursery. There were splodges all over her...... Oh no, I searched frantically for the decapitated child I was sure to find, nobody got paint on Alice's favourite Gucci vest top (do Gucci make vest tops?) and lived. I slowly peeled her from the floor and sent her to the staff toilets to change. Edward was outside watching the children play. God he looked so.......

"Excuse me?" Said the irritating brunette from the day before. "We have new arrivals. Glad I won't be looking after them all." She rolled her eyes, finding herself hilarious yet again and strolled off in her tiny stilettos. I made a mental note not to send her a Christmas card. Ever.

"Miss?" Came a tiny voice from the group of children. I turned to face them and found them stood in a clump with one small blonde boy stood just in front.

"I'm Carwisle. And this is my family." He said with the most adorable lisp. "Can I go and plaaaay now?" I nodded and he ran off.

"And who are you guys?" I smiled warmly. A tall bulky boy stepped forward and pointed to his chest.

" I'm Emmett. And I like to play cars." He said proudly. The tallest of the lot piped up behind him, his blonde hair swaying,

"Me too! I'm Jazzy!" He shouted. They both ran off to join Edward and the other kids. Emmett picked up a little girl called daisy and spun her around, and the one called Jazzy started pretending to be a cowboy and shooting people. I turned to the remaining two.

"I's Esme." Said the sweet little one with the wavy caramel hair. "And this Rosalie." She pointed to the angel with the golden curls. Yes, definitely an angel in the next school play. They were adorable!

Alice made a stifled giggling noise as Emmett jumped on Edwards back and shouted unintelligibly. Carlisle was picking up different leaves and putting them in a pile after careful study. One of the locals called Seth was running around as fast as he could with his elder sister-Lena wasn't it? Laura? Leah! Yes, and crying when she beat him. There were three girls in the corner, laughing at the more boisterous ones I remembered them as: Tanya, Carmen, and Irina. Jazzy (whose actual name was Jasper) was nowhere to be seen... Or at least, Not until I turned around. He was clinging to Alice's leg with his thumb in his mouth smiling broadly. "Awice." He repeated again and again as she tried to extricate him from her leg.


	3. Storytime :D

**Okayyyy I know people have been asking me for agggeeees to hurry up and write more chapters!!! Rawrr! :[ but I've been dead busy – so enjoy! *throws jar of peanut butter at you* or else.**

Beep

Beep

Beep

GAH!

I sat up in bed and gingerly swung my legs over the edge, I was not falling off this morning. Good news too! We had milk! I wasn't in as much of a hurry so I combed out my hair and got dressed slowly into a shirt and jeans. The cereal tasted bland in my mouth but I didn't really care.

'Edward...' I sighed longingly.

'Bella!' Came a screech from behind me and I screamed and lurched backwards, knocking over my chair as I went. As I lay upside down on the upturned chair my heart began to race. Until I noticed the feet.

'Come one Bella, it's only me! How many burglars do you know who have shoes this gorgeous?' Alice giggled. She had a point, I didn't know many non-burglars who could walk in killer heels. But this was Alice. She could probably levitate if she wanted to.

**********

'LELLA!' Squealed Mike as I lurched through the nursery door, tripping over a coat that had been discarded on the floor.

'Michael! It's quiet time! Go and sit down so Alice can tell you a story.' I scolded. His eyes welled up with angry tears as he flopped cross legged on the softly carpeted floor. Jessica was at his side in an instant.

'Mike-mike? What's wrong?' She whimpered.

'Shush you two.' I chided. They shut up eventually. Alice was looking at me, her wide dark eyes shaking in a pleading manner.

'Err Bella? I forgot the story book.' She murmured.

'Oh Alice!' I shouted, then remembered the kids sat staring up at me. An idea struck me. 'You can tell them a _made-up_ story instead!' I emphasised made up and the kids eyes lit up. Edward chuckled from somewhere behind me. Alice looked at me murderously.

'Okay, once upon a time there was this girl called... um?'

'Rosalie!'

'Esme!'

'Leah!'

The triplets called out at the same time and it came out as 'Carmirinaya'. More dark chuckles came from Edward.

'Okay... Carmirinaya it is. And she ... er... Lived in.... a town called... Chanel! Where everybody had really nice hair but they all had funny pink umbrellas that they carried even when it wasn't raining!'

The kids laughed at these amazing Chanel umbrella people.

Alice continued. 'And they all had these aaaamaaaazing prada boots with the diamante down the side. You know the ones they sell in town? In the shoe shop next to the bakery?' Alice was drifting off subject.

Rosalie nodded. 'I think they're very pretty Miss Alice.' She was well spoken for a four year old!

'Oh my gooosh they're gorgeous I want to get some but they're really expensive and have you seeeeeen that limited edition nail polish that just came out? Oh my daaaaays it's so pretty! It's a gorgeous pale pinky colour and I bet it'd go really nice with esme's skin tones. Hmmm.' She was thoughtful for a moment. Then her face donned a look I knew all too well.

'Ali-' I reached out to grab her but it was too late.

'MAKEOVER!!!' She squealed. I opened my mouth to protest but she and the girls –and Jasper- had already followed raced to the art table.

'Oh god.' I shook my head in defeat. 'Wanna clean out the store cupboard? Looks like the only chance we'll get.' I asked Edward tactlessly.

Alice POV

Yeah suuuure they were cleaning out the store cupboard, I wasn't too busy to notice that they were cleaning with the door shut. Snooooogathon! Bella would kill me for that one. But I didn't care. Cus tomorrow I would get my own back for dumping me in this story lark... That was the one secret I'd kept from my best friend... Tomorrow....

Was sports day.


	4. Sports day muah ha ha!

Beep

Beep

Beep

!*?#

Beep

CRASH!

'Charlie? I think my alarm clocks broken.'

...

'Charlie?'

...

'SNOOOOORE...'

...

THUD

A monumental yawn escaped my lips as I hobbled blindly to the kitchen. I was exhausted. Of course I just had to be up until four making a sports day banner. That bitch didn't tell me the week before when she found out, no. She had to make sure I got no sleep. I decided I couldn't really look that bad and turned to look in the mirror.

'AAAAGGGHHHH!' I shrieked. Charlie's snores stuttered and I caught my breath. So I looked kind of tired, but that wasn't why I screamed. Alice's reflection grinned at me with her pearl white teeth and pale red lips.

'How the hell did you get in my house?'

'You left the key at the nursery.'

'No I didn't.'

'Fine, the door was open.'

'No it wasn't.'

'Okay the _window.'_

'Alice.'

'Yeah?'

'You climbed through my window?'

She smiled angelically.

'And your punishment wasn't the sports day thing...' Her grin darkened and she pulled several pots and brushes from behind her back before gesturing to a case by her foot.

'Ali, are they...?' I stuttered in horror.

Her eyes narrowed and her voice dropped... She whispered one final threat...

'Makeover.'

And then I screamed.

**********

Okay I had to admit Alice had done a good job, I looked amazing! She'd straightened my hair too, and pulled the side fringe -that I usually just pushed back- across my face. I flicked it out of my eyes and hugged her.

'Alice you are amazing.' She giggled at me and pulled me from the seat. I promptly fell to the ground as my legs had got pins and needles. She laughed and pulled me up. Five minutes later I was at the nursery.

**********

'Eddie!' Squealed Alice from across the playground. She ran forward and high fived him. I laughed and did the same. He looked amused and slightly confused. But that was the expression I loved best. Then the irritating 'hilarious' woman tottered out again.

'Looooove?' She stroked Edwards arm and he took a step back. 'Darlings? I want you to start the sports soon. And Bella? Can I see you in my office please? In fact all three of you.' She cooed. I shot Alice a worried glance and she returned one.

The office was dark and had no windows. The only light came from a bare bulb hanging form the ceiling. All in all the room had a very depressing effect. She gestured to two hard seats and muttered Alice's name, and then a moment later mine. She grabbed Edwards arm and pulled him into the third seat, which had a cushion on it – which to the woman's annoyance he offered to me. I accepted it and glared at her.

'Right, let's cut to the chase. Bella I'm firing you.'

I gasped with shock and Alice stamped her feet in defiance.

'How can you fire Bella? She's so good with the kids!' She accused.

'I'm sorry but having sex in the cupboard is unacceptable! And you're going too Alice. Esme had an allergic reaction to the perfume you lent her and her sisters.' She hissed menacingly.

Edward shook his head. 'We only kissed though. And shouldn't you be firing me too in that case?' He questioned suspiciously.

'Well... I may have to... Unless you convince me otherwise...' She hitched up her already tiny skirt and sat down on the desk near Edward, her bare leg brushing his knee. She licked her lips and that was it.

Me and Alice lost it.

'HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!' We both cried, rolling on the floor. Miss thinks-she's-so-funny was better at comedy than we first thought.

Alice wiped her brow and looked up to find Edward doubled over, tears running down his face as he shook with laughter. I straightened my clothes and stood up straight. 'Edward darling!' I drawled. Then I hitched up my jeans mockingly and sat on his knee, licking my lips. Edward cracked up again. Then without casting another glance at the annoying woman we left the building.

Alice stopped at the gates to turn back, where the woman was waiting in the playground. 'Go shove your FAKE Prada boots where the sun don't shine!' She yelled.

And Edward did that amused smile that made me go weak at the knees...

But that didn't matter, because he was there to catch me anyway.

**Okay this may sound like the last one but it's not I'm just really busy with coursework and stuff and I need to think of some more ideas too. I wanted to do a field trip chapter (or have some Volturi bullies :P) but where do you take a bunch of nursery school kids on a field trip?! Help meee and I will send you a virtual hug, a cookie, and Edward :D**

**Btw apologies for the chapters being so short :(**


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